Sunday, February 13, 2011

What's In A Name?

As I mentioned in my first post, I didn't think marriage would happen for me.  However, I thought if it ever did I'd probably be well into my mid to late 30s and "taking my husband's name" wouldn't even be a consideration.  I then went and got married in my mid-twenties.  Now it was decision time.  I don't consider myself a feminist (though some may say I am).  I guess I am somewhat of a 'modern woman' but not to extremes.  My husband, D, is what I would consider a feminist.  As a result, he didn't want me to take his name.  Or more accurately, he left the decision to me all the while secretly (or not so secretly as he told me multiple times) that his preference would be for me to keep my married name.

Now I did like my maiden name.  I'd lived 2.5 decades with it.  But it was my decision to make.  Although I didn't know whether marriage would happen for me, I knew kids would.  The idea of having kids with my husband and not all having the same last name sealed my decision.  Taking D's last name became my decision.

This was not a universally supported decision.  As I mentioned, D wanted me to keep my name.  There were a few others in my life that didn't support my decision and openly questioned it.  Surprisingly, none of that questioning came from my family.  It wasn't until after I was married and had gone through the long hassle of changing my name that my father thought to question it.  Too late dad!

There will still be some who don't agree with my decision.  Just as there will probably be many who do.  In the end, the truth is, it was 100% my decision.

*But don't call me Mrs. D!!  Although I took my husband's last name, I did not give up my own!  Perhaps the distinction will seem strange to some.  So be it.

1 comment:

  1. There is nothing wrong with choosing to keep your last name and there is also nothing wrong with choosing to change your last name. The key here is CHOICE! It should 100% be the choice of the individual who is most affected (in most cases, its the woman) on whether to change her name or not. Now, that is not to say that you should not take the opinions of others (including your spouse) into consideration, but at the end of the day, the decision and the choice should be yours.


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