I am not a mother. I do not own a house. I have fish but no pet that demands to be walked or requires a lot of attention. I have a husband who does *help* around the house. And yet there are times, like now, when I am tired. Exhausted. Amazed I am still functioning. But it makes me feel guilty, or ashamed.
Why should I get to be tired? I have it relatively easy. I can go to sleep when I want and wake up when I want (although work kinda dictates when I wake up). If I want to take a nap, I can. I don't have someone or someones demanding my attention. I only have to cook food for two people. I also work with people who at times can have very difficult and demanding lives. In comparison, I have it easy.
It goes back to something I've thought before: no matter how happy you are, someone else is happier, and no matter how bad things are, someone else has it worse. (There was a girl I knew when I was younger ... let's call her N. She was always trying to 'up' other people. No matter how good a day you had, she had a better one. No matter how bad things were, it was worse for her. I only beat her once. She said she had one tooth pulled and I'd had four teeth pulled. She then turned to me and said "Sara, it's not a contest." Oh irony. Anyway, back to my blog...) Does that mean we aren't allowed to feel what we are feeling?
I am still allowed to be tired. I am still allowed to feel what I feel. Even if my "bad" could not in any way compare with your "bad," does that make it "less" bad? I say no.
And yet ... there are days when I still feel guilty. There are days when I feel as though I shouldn't be allowed to be bad. People tell me "it will be worse when you have kids." Maybe so. That doesn't mean I am not tired.