We Are To Blame

I've seen the news articles talking about girls developing eating disorders and vilifying magazines, television and celebrities.  While there may be some truth, I think these articles are missing the point.  I think the true cause of girls having eating disorders is boys (and probably other girls).

Allow me to explain.

Yesterday was my sister's surprise birthday party.  Before hand, D and I went out to dinner with my brother (S) and a group of his friends.  We then came back to my brother's house where it was D, myself, S and three other guys.  (Disclaimer: D was not participating in this conversation.)  The topic of my sister's bridemaids came up seeing as how she is getting married in November and my brother is a groomsman.  A few weeks ago my brother found out he was walking down the aisle with bridemaid #7 (yes, there are seven bridesmaids plus me ... wow).  And he flipped out.  He is not in support (I won't elaborate in case one day my siblings do learn of this blog, which I am sure they will, and get upset that I aired our families dirty laundry).  Suffice it to say, S is not happy.  And is not shy in explaining why.

So we're back to S's house where the guys, plus me, are discussing this situation.  S mentioned the girl he would like to up the aisle with (we are walking down alone) and J, the only guy whose met this girl, agrees.  I've met her too and she's lovely so it has my support.

Then somehow going dress shopping came up and the guys were going back and forth discussing these two girls and having been at the dress shop, I let them know they were actually the same size.  Now to put it in perspective, these girls are a size 4.  FOUR!  And they had the nerve to say that they were surprised by this because one of the girls is a little "thicker" (direct quote) than the other girl.

THICKER?!?! Nope.  Sorry.  I'm calling a foul.  A girl who fits into a size 4 at a bridal dress shop can be called many things but "thicker" cannot be one of them.

I lost it.  For many reasons.  They were also talking about two other bridesmaids and going on and on about how "large" they are.  Now these girls are not thin ... but they are smaller than me.  Making me feel like absolute crap when my brother is gesturing with WIDE arms and using exaggerated tones/language to describe how big they are.

Somehow the conversation then comes back to the two girls (you remember .... with one who is thicker than the other) and how the "less thick" of the two used to be really tone but isn't anymore.  OMFG.  Seriously?  I was in the dressing room with that girl.  She had like 0% body fat (of course when this was mentioned to her by my sister this girl said she had tons of fat ... case in point how her thinking has bee warped).

Perhaps we are all to blame for our warped views of beauty.  But I remember seeing these two skinny girls dressed up staring at themselves in the mirror pointing out their body areas that they want to fix ... and the other encouraging it.  There was nothing wrong with their bodies.  Sincerely.  Truly.  Nothing.

Suffice it to say, I had to remove myself from the conversation between my brother and the other guys.  And no surprise I felt like absolute crap about myself all night.

Maybe we are all partially to blame.  But before the media, models, celebrities and entertainment are made responsible, we need to look more locally.  Because when four guys think it is ok to talk about one girl being "thicker" than another, something is wrong.

Ok ... stepping off the soap box.  PSA done.