Thursday, April 21, 2011

Aren't We All Looking for Friendship??

Today I attended a training in Western Maryland (think 1.5+ hour drive depending on traffic).  I arrived early and sat at a table near the front (no I am not just a goody-goody, I was presenting at the end of the conference and thought it appropriate to sit at the front).  Only a few other brave souls, including J, ventured to sit at the table with me.

One woman, J, was very sweet and I swear she is me in 30 years.  Anyway, it approached lunch time and J asked me "so where are we going for lunch?" Which was very sweet ... except it's Passover ... so I had to pack a lunch.  Which I apologetically told her.  She wound up getting something and bringing it back (she even ate the corn bread in the car so as not to eat bread in front of me -- very thoughtful!)

But it got me thinking. When I would start at a new school, what was my primary concern? Not would my teachers like me, not how well would I do, not whether I was wearing the correct clothes (if you know me, that is never, ever my concern). No my concern on that first day was always who would I eat lunch with.

I think deep down we all just want to be liked.  None of us wants to look pathetic or a loser (too obvious a statement)? And I think this woman who is slowly approaching 60 is no different than I was in that regard when I was in elementary school.


When you get down to it, is that really such a horrible thing?  Wanting to be liked? I would have loved to join her for lunch, and if I see her at another training will gladly do so!



  1. This was an interesting post. I remember my first day at my corporate job - I was so, so nervous about lunch, where would I go? Who would I go with? But, my super fantastic boss mentioned before 9 that I'd be going to lunch with her that day. Awesome. And each day for the remainder of that week, I ate lunch with a different member of my new team. It was a wonderful way to get to know everyone. And you know what? That super fantastic boss did that for every new hire.

    Emily from Nap Time Is My Time

  2. That is a great boss! When (and if!) I'm a boss I'll try to remember to do the same thing!

  3. What a sweet story - isn't that the truth though? Fitting in/finding a connection with someone is at the heart of what we're all looking for. The fact that she ate her cornbread in the car though? Cracked me up!

  4. This post is awesome for a lot of reasons: one, even though it was probably tempting to go to lunch, you held fast to your beliefs and ate what you brought. I don't know if I would have that discipline. Two, the fact that J then stayed and ate with you was so cool. And then eating her cornbread in the car (side note: maybe do a little post about Passover for people who don't know much about it?).
    Three: as an adult, you made the connection to what we go through as children in a new place. That part of us never changes.

  5. This is a great post! I'm rapidly approaching 30 and I STILL feel this way. I've always struggled to fit in and feel accepted.

    But J? What a sweet lady!! Loved that story!


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