Sunday, June 12, 2011

Wishing for Divorce...

Ok first let me preface this by saying D and I are NOT getting divorced. Not even close.  But the topic is still very real.

We all know couples, both dating/engaged/married who we "just don't see it."  We don't quite get the relationship.  Or we're not happy with it.

And this can be for a number of reasons.  Hopefully it isn't because of any violence (because that enters a whole different discussion).

I think more regularly you think one person is "better" than the other or they are just not well suited.

Usually, we keep our opinions to ourselves.  We don't tell people what we really think.  And when they are already engaged or married, we almost never tell them we think they should break it off or get divorced.

But what really concerns me here, is what does it say about me to either (a) assume a relationship won't work out or (b) to (somewhat?) actively wish for it to end? And as quickly as possibly with as little pain as possible.

I know that makes me horrible.  I know it sounds horrible.  But just how horrible?

I don't do anything to actively break up people.  So that must mitigate the bad level. Right?


  1. I've been guilty of feeling that way about someone else's relationship. I don't think it makes you sound horrible, especially when you say that you'd like the relationship to end painlessly.

    Sometimes I think we feel this way because we don't see the match, or there's something off kilter based on our own personal wants for relationships.

  2. I experience the same feelings when I see people together that I just don't get, however, I (read: my husband) tell myself that I'm not there with them all the time and that a relationship is an intricate, multifacted organism that we don't understand on all levels (unless its our own). So, while we might dislike it or not understand it, we never know the full story.

  3. I've thought the same things before. Actually friends of ours who we had these thoughts about actually just divorced, so I guess we weren't completely off!

  4. I think this is normal...and common. Not sure if that makes it "good" or not, but I know you're not alone in these thoughts.

    Shortly after I got married, I was talking to a good friend of mine who had also just gotten married (a bunch of our friends all got married in one year). We were talking about some of the couples that didn't seem particularly well-suited to each other and she essentially said that knowing there's a 50% divorce rate in this country, each time she sees a couple she doesn't think will make it, she feels like it gives her better odds of being in the 50% that manage to stay together. :O I was sort of shocked and didn't know what to say!


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