Sunday, June 19, 2011

What makes a father?

D and I do not have kids yet (nor any on the way ... nor are we trying to have any on the way) but that isn't going to be the case for too much longer.  In fact, as I mentioned to D the other day, this could very well be the last Father's day he has without at least a kid on the way. 

So with this reality becoming closer and closer, I've started thinking what makes a father.  What is really important about a father?

[Now that is NOT to say that lesbian couples and/or single moms are not great parents.  However, this blog is dedicated to what I see as best father traits and what I hope to see in D when the time comes.]

I don't know that there is such a thing as a perfect parent, be it mother or father.  But there are definitely qualities that are admirable to have.

D is a natural teacher.  (Both in personality and profession!)  He is going to be great at teaching our kids about dinosaurs, and bugs (because momma HATES bugs!) and politics.  He'll be quick to teach them right from wrong.  He'll also be a great role model regardless if we have a son or a daughter.  Because he'll show our kids how someone should treat their partner (regardless of gender) and how someone should expect to be treated.  He always shows me respect, and I always give him respect.

I love my father.  I am now and always will be a Daddy's girl.  I was the first born after 6 years of trying to get pregnant (I don't like to think about that though).  I was the first child and will always be.  In many ways my personality is that of a typical first born (more of than in another post I am sure!).  My dad always made me feel secure and loved.  My dad made sure I had all my needs met and as many of my wants met as possible.  He always bragged about me (and continues to do so), and always supported me (both emotionally and financially).  He opened his arms to my husband and accepted him as a member of the family upon first meeting him (pretty much).  And taught me what it means to put family before all.  He showed me that even if all of your dreams for life don't work out, so long as you have family, you can still be happy.

One of the best dads in the world
I love and miss my saba (Hebrew for grandfather).  I only knew him 8 short years but loved him.  He taught me that hard work leads to success.  And showed me what true love was.  His love for my grandmother was evident even to my as a young girl.  And his death shook her to her core.  I consider it no coincidence that on his birthday years after he passed my grandmother had a stroke that took her from us.  She was ready to be with my saba again.  If I ever doubted that soul mates exist, I only have to think of them.

There is a part of me that is nervous/anxious about taking that next step with D.  But I am beyond excited to see his face when he holds our child for the first time (going on record, I completely believe we are having a boy first ... and no I am not currently pregnant).  And the love that I will feel for him as I watch him become the excellent father I know he will be.

To all men who are fathers, whether biological, adopted, foster, or just in spirit.  Thank you.


  1. The teaching quality is great to have when you have children because all moments in life for them are opportunities to teach them something new. It's so fun to see their little minds work.

  2. Aw - happy Father's Day to all the wonderful men in your life!

  3. My favorite thing about A as a Dad is the way he can make our babies laugh. Nobody else can illicit laughs like he can from our kids (including me which makes me insanely jealous). Hearing A and the kids laugh together is my biggest joy in life. From what I know of D, I'm confident he'll be able to make your future baby (boy?) laugh as well, and I just know you'll love it as much as I do!

  4. Thanks for the comments. And yes Beth, I am 100% (irrationally) convinced that our first kid will be a boy. I'll let you know ... you know ... when I actually have a kid ... or get pregnant ... or even try to get pregnant lol.


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