Can't Choose Your Family

We've all said it, you can't choose your family.  Oh that you could ... day dream over!

We say it when our family does something we don't like, or we feel the need to defend our relationship with this family member.

But sometimes it's more serious.

Each of my parents have a brother.  My dad and his brother are ridiculously close.  I mean they talk multiple times a day.  They are very involved in each others life.  When I got engaged, my uncle was furious my dad hadn't told him ahead of time.  There is also a 12 year age difference and their biological dad died when my dad was 2 so I am sure that has a role in their relationship.  From time to time there are downsides but overall, I love seeing my dad with such a close relationship to his brother.

Now contrast that with my mom.

She doesn't talk to her brother.  At all.  When my mom's parents were alive, there was a bridge.  My uncle was somewhat involved in our lives because my grandparents involved him.  But they have since died.

My mother once asked her brother why he hated her so much.  His response was that their parents had treated her better than him.  (Now to be fair, I cannot remember if I heard him say this over the phone or if she told me he said this. This distinction would only matter as to credibility. )

As a result, my mother and uncle have no relationship.  A few years ago, I sent my uncle and aunt an email saying hi and trying to build a bridge.  My parents knew what I was doing, weren't thrilled but didn't try to stop me.  After a handful of emails back and forth, I was going to meet my aunt and uncle for lunch near my job.  This was only a few weeks before grad school started and my aunt was a high school teacher so she was going back to work as well.  We emailed back and forth for location and time. 

I went.  And I remember thinking wouldn't it be ironic if after all this I was stood up.  Well ... I was.  They never showed.

Now when I got back to the office, I sent them an email. My aunt claimed that my latest email confirming lunch had gotten sent to her spam folder (even though previous emails went through).  I had tried calling her cell while at lunch (I didn't have my uncle's number) and it kept going to voicemail.

My aunt apologized.  I tried to believe her and understand.  But school was about to start for both of us so we weren't going to be able to reschedule for a few weeks.  She promised to send me an email to set up a time.

That was August 2005.

When D and I got engaged I went back and forth on whether to invite this uncle/aunt to my wedding.  My position is they are family. 

But D and I decided we would leave the decision up to my mom.  And we did.  And she said she'd feel more comfortable if he wasn't there.  So we didn't invite him.

(Don't laugh) in watching Real Housewives of NJ lately with family strife, it makes me sad that I have zero relationship with that uncle.  I have a very small family and two people missing is noticable.

Last night I toyed around with the idea of contacting him.  Or giving my information to a mutual Aunt (my great aunt, my uncle's aunt) who still speaks to both of our sides and telling her to tell him if he wants to get in touch, to use my email.

How much would this hurt my parents? And am I brave enough to do this?  And do I even want to?

My uncle and I were never close, unfortunately.  And we do have some personality and political differences.  But he is family.  Is that enough?  You can't choose your family...

What do you think I should do?

Time for Skippin Rope

A blogger friend of mine, Tara, just completed the transition to her new site.  She's a former Navy wife now navigating life as a Navy veteran.

Her new site is SkippinRope.  And to celebrate her new blog she's having a WEEK of giveaways!  Her first giveaway goes live in just under 30 minutes!  She's having a giveaway for a Recaro ProSeries ProSport child car seat. And tomorrow she's sponsoring a giveaway from Melissa and Doug!  But only a few select people know about Tuesday's giveaway, so shhhhhh!

Go visit Tara and give her some love.  Let her know I sent you her way!

Anniversary Celebration

Unless this is your first visit to my blog, you know that last week, May 23rd to be exact, was my first wedding anniversary! (In honor of that I'm having a giveaway, enter here!)

For months, D has been going on and on about how great my anniversary gift is but I refused to let him tell me what it was.  The box arrived and we put it in his office so I wouldn't try to figure it out.  I caught a glimpse of the shape so I thought it was a picture, but I couldn't imagine how beautiful.  D took one of our favorite wedding photos and had it put on canvas! I'll explain the significance of this photo in a future post!

First Dance

Lest you think I didn't get D anything, I listened to what he wanted and got him a harmonica along with an instruction book.  He's already started playing a few songs and sounds pretty good!

My parents met us for breakfast on Sunday, May 22nd (day before anniversary) and to eat the top tier from our wedding cake (pictures below!).

My work sent me to Cumberland, Maryland (take a look on the map, it's quite far west!).  On Sunday, when we arrived, we had a hell of a time finding a place to eat!  (Read all about it here!)  Monday wasn't much better but because of an antique car show, some restaurants usually closed on Mondays were opened. We ate in a wonderful Italian restaurant that was straight out of the Godfather!

We also found an old synagogue founded in 1863.  D noticed a sign saying to enter from the side door.  So he did.  And announced we were "just two wandering Jews passing by."  And I wish I was making that up!

Then Tuesday night we headed to Garrett County, the furthest west in Maryland.  We stayed in a lovely inn I had found online.  Unfortunately, between my heel problems and D stepping on a power cord and puncturing his foot, we weren't really up for anything physical.

That first night we went to a wonderful restaurant and had a great meal.  And then I got sick.  And pretty much napped/slept the rest of the night.

On Wednesday I woke up feeling much better. We found this tiny little restaurant for breakfast that had been recommended and although we didn't quite fit in, the food was decent and cheap.  We then headed out to this crafts store that had been recommended and for the life of our GPS, we could not find it.  Deciding it wasn't worth the hassle, we decided to head on to the vineyard that I had found.  And our lovely GPS tried to kill us.  It took us through this mountain road that is unpaved, about 4 feet wide with a mountain on one side and a cliff on the other. Oh, and did I mention it is a two-way road??  Needless to say, we took a different route back. And on the way I noticed the sign for that store we hadn't been able to find before! It was 5:45pm and it closed at 6pm. You know we popped in and bought up a few treats!

Thursday took us to a stained glass store with an interesting shop keeper.  Seeing how small the showroom (aka his house) was, we knew going in we'd have to buy something.  His pieces were quite beautiful but most of the prices were a bit high for us.  When I went into another room, D noticed some "collector" knives he had.  I selected my piece and as I was paying, D examined the knives even closer.  He noticed one had a swastika on it.  Thinking it was an antique he opened it up ... and found a "made in China" engraved in it.  Definitely not authentic.  And not too thrilled about this guy selling it.  Inappropriate? Yes. Neo-Nazi? Don't think so.  We also went to a blown glass store, an Amish farm (but didn't realize we had to call ahead for farm tours) and an Amish bakery.  Busy days!

On Friday, I had a meeting scheduled but then headed to Antietam on our way back.

And we came home to a clean apartment! My parent's anniversary gift was a cleaning lady and I loved it! I wish we could afford one every month!

Take a look at the photos. All in all we had a great anniversary trip!  My only wish is the trip could have been even longer :)  But at least we came home to a three day weekend!

A Guest Post!

I love my twitter/blogger friends and was so honored when Kim at MamasMonologues asked me to guest post! May 23rd was my wedding anniversary (I'm having a giveaway in honor of it: enter here! And because I was away and couldn't really promote it, I am extending the giveaway until June 4th at 11pm!) 

Go over to Kim's page where I give you all the secret to marriage.  Because you know after one year I am the expert ;)

Thanks again Kim!!

I Just Want Dinner!

D and I are in Western Maryland first for my work, then to celebrate our anniversary (tomorrow!).  I am planning a large "how was the anniversary celebration" post when I get back ... but tonight was too funny not to post.

My parents, in honor of our anniversary, (have you entered my anniversary inspired giveaway yet??) treated us to breakfast.  A very large breakfast at that.  We ate around 11:30am so naturally we weren't really hungry for lunch

So by the time 6pm rolled around we were hungry and ready to go.

Except, we are in Western Maryland.  Which we have come to discover is a whole different world.

I had done some research online and found a restaurant that looked good AND had a restaurant.com coupon (you know about my love for them).  AFTER purchasing, I noticed the restaurant isn't open on Sundays.  Weird.  But ok. We're still going to be here for Monday night dinner so I'll deal.

So I looked online again and found a Greek restaurant.  Around 6:15pm off we went.  By 6:30, we were there.

But it was closed.

Across the street was a French restaurant I had seen online.  It was a little pricey, but it was there.  And we were hungry.  So D agreed to go across the busy 2 lane road to make sure we could eat something off the menu.

But they were closed too.

A little frustrating but no big deal.  I had seen a Japanese restaurant so took out Louise (my reliable GPS) and looked up Japanese restaurants.  There was only one.

About 12 minutes later we arrived.

And it was closed.

On the way to the Japanese restaurant I had noticed an Italian restaurant.  Fine. Not our first choice but we were really hungry and there were cars in the parking lot = open.

I joked with D that they probably close at 7pm (it was 6:53pm when we pulled in the parking lot).  And sure enough, they did close at 7.

So into the bank parking lot and pull out Louise again. By this time I am in the mood for Italian so we find a place about 10 minutes away.  It is more in the "heart" of downtown so they must be open.

We arrive around 7:15pm to find out ... you guessed it. They were closed too.

However, on the way I noticed an ice cream shop/deli that I had seen online and wanted to visit.  We had already looked at their website and KNEW it was open until 8pm.

So we walked in, placed our order and sat down.

After all that, I don't know if any meal could measure up.  And this meal definitely did NOT.  My turkey breast was probably a day from spoiling.  I told D if I die he'll know why.

I am just glad it was D and myself and we were able to find the humor in it.

What have you gone through just for a meal??

Paper is the first anniversary gift

 Congrats to our winner #60

And our 60th comment was:

Congrats to Amanda T and thanks to all for entering!!

 Update: Giveaway extended until Saturday, June 4th at 11pm!!

Monday, May 23rd marks my first wedding anniversary with D.  I cannot believe a year ago we got married.  I cannot believe it has already been a year.  Amazing.  [D and I are going away for a few days but when I get back I'll write all about our anniversary gifts and our trip.]

In honor of my anniversary, I wanted to have a month full of love-inspired giveaways and was so blessed to have so many wonderful sponsors.

And just in time for my actual anniversary, one more.  For those who don't know ... paper is the first anniversary present.  And as we all know ... paper comes from wood (ok this might be a stretch but work with me!).

You all have read about my love for Etsy and I found one more amazing shop, PrinceWhitaker.  Allie, the designer of PrinceWhitaker makes some amazing pieces.

Like these garden sticks. I wrote about how D loves to garden and is doing a great job with our mini-balcony garden. He'd love these when we have a real garden! 

 Or this really cute photo frame for a graduation gift!

Or how about these wonderful napkin holders, perfect for a shower, rehearsal dinner or wedding!

I think Allie's designs are wonderful and unique.  As you know, I like to pry and find out lots of information from the designers.

WHEN DID YOU FIRST START DESIGNING?

Funny story. I was grounded for a whole weekend when I was a teenager. Before the days of social media and cell phones, when my friends went out they were unreachable and I truly had nothing to do. A light bulb when off and I climbed on top of my bedroom dresser and started to sketch out a mural of the Jetsons family in their spaceship/car (Astro too). From there, family and friends asked me to paint murals for them and eventually a business grew. As time went on (and I aged) murals became too labor-intensive. I've always designed and painted on every surface you can think of: paper, walls, ceramics, wood and then I discovered wood-burning and Prince Whitaker was born!

WHAT MATERIALS DO YOU USE?

Currently, I use different types of wood. I also use embellishments such as tulle and ribbons for certain products. The colors add flair and a personal touch to match the color scheme of the wedding.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ITEM TO CREATE?

Recently I've been having a good time making the guest / advice books. They can be personalized with the happy couple's names, a personal message on the front and back, and ribbon to match their bridal party colors. I add a piece of vellum to the front and back with gorgeous deckled edges for an extra special touch. I just received requests to make this for baby showers too! It's special to me because I know that it will be such a treasured keepsake for the recipients.

I am sure you are thinking of all the unique gifts/favors you could get from her shop.  Well good news, one lucky reader is going to win a beautiful I Do photo frame.

The winner gets to personalize it with their initials or you could give it as a gift and use the initials of the happy couple!

HERE'S HOW TO WIN:

This contest is open to people in the US or Canada only.  If your email is not visible in your profile, you must leave it in one of your entries!

MANDATORY ENTRY (1 entry)

•  Visit PrinceWhitaker's Etsy Shop and leave a comment with your favorite item!

EARN MORE ENTRIES! (You may do any or all of these in any order.  

Leave a separate comment for each entry completed.)

• 1 Entry: Follow IDoTheeWedSara publicly on Google Friend Connect
• 1 Entry: Follow PrinceWhitaker publicly on Google Friend Connect
• 1 Entry: Make PrinceWhitaker a favorite on Etsy
• 1 Entry: Like IDoTheeWedSara on Facebook
• 1 Entry: Like PrinceWhitaker on Facebook
• 1 Entry: Follow IDoTheeWedSara on Twitter
• 1 Entry: Follow PrinceWhitaker on Twitter
• 2 Entries: Tweet about this giveaway and include #PrinceWhitakergiveaway (maximum 3x/day and leave a comment each time!)
• 5 Entries: Blog about this giveaway (one time). In the comment include a link to your post.

Giveaway ends Saturday May 28, 2011 at 4pm EST. Winner will be chosen via Random.org and will have 24 hours to respond to my email or another winner will be selected.

My Puppy Remembered...

Cappy

When I was born my parents already had a dog, Schmutzy.  He passed away when I was in 3rd grade. For the next seven years I begged my parents to get another dog.  I had just finally stopped begging them when I went on a huge trip with my school one summer.  I came home ... and they brought this little fur ball with them to pick me up.  After 6 weeks gone I missed my parents ... but cared more about the dog!

His name was Cappy, short for Cappuccino (I didn't get to name him).  And he was my dog (ok I'll be honest, if my mom was around it was either a tie or he was her dog ... but when she was gone, he was mine!).  I took him to puppy school, I taught him to sit, down, stay (he knew other commands but I didn't practice them so he lost them). I was the one who took so many pictures he developed a love for cameras and would pose and whine when seeing a camera until you took his picture.

He loved digging and would do it for hours if you'd have let him.  And he loved licking. The air, your hand, your leg, anything.  He'd lick so much a white foam would form on his bottom lip.

After a vet visit when he was only a few months old, it was me who noticed his face swell up and insisted that my parents call the vet. Come to find out, he was having an allergic reaction. From then on, whenever he got a shot, he had to have some Benedryl as well.

When I went away to college, I liked talking to my parents, but it was my puppy who I missed.  It was my puppy who I made my mom put on the phone so I could say hi.

During grad school when I moved home, my parents went to the shelter and fell in love with another dog. It was me who said don't get him (although he was adorable).  It was me, and only me, who said not to get the second dog.

But they didn't listen.

And it was me who said "I told you so" when the new dog BJ (we didn't name him) made Cappy's life miserable. It was me who recognized the only way Cappy would be able to play with his soccer ball that he LOVED was to trick BJ into going outside.  It was me who tried to give Cappy the attention he'd originally received and still needed/wanted but could no longer get because the new dog stole it all.

And it was me who when just after his 10th birthday he got sick, insisted we take him to the vet.  It was me (and at times my parents) who forewent sleep to stay up all night with him.  It was me who said no, he isn't suffering, we shouldn't put him down.

And it was me who was overruled.  I called for an update to learn my sister and mother were on the way to the vet to put him down.  I rushed out of work for a final chance to say goodbye.

And when the vet said he wasn't suffering but didn't have a good quality of life, it was me who regrets not speaking up for Cappy and leaving with him then and there.

Instead, I had to be the one to hold him when the vet gave him the final shots.

And it was me who stayed in the room with him after everyone else had left, apologizing for not being stronger and saying goodbye.

May 20th marks the second anniversary of his death.  And I still miss him.  And there are times, like now, that I still burst into tears thinking of him.

He was alive for my engagement but wasn't alive for the wedding. I missed him then and miss him now.